Freak Story
by moonbird
Summary: Some-thing absolutely horrible happened! Sanji isn't the same any-more, and the straw-hats must now find out what happened, as well as how to fix it.. all while trying their best to make this freak whom call himself, their chef, comfortable... or some-thing.
1. Chapter 1

It was a rather beautiful day in the new world, the sunny was anchored by a big town, and Sanji could take his time buying new supplies.

Also, he could take his time to just enjoy the beautiful weather, the life around him.. and the many beautiful ladies!

"LADIES!" Sanji exclaimed as he jumped right into the middle of a little group of them, whom had been in a private conversation. "I saw you standing around, and I was wondering if any-one took the time to tell you how beautiful you all look." He sighed of them, reaching a rose towards a young woman with short blond hair and chocolate brown eyes. "For you." He told.

Stunned the women blinked at him, and then they started to giggle.

"Ladies! The sun looks dark compared to your brightness!" he told them all, making them all chuckle even louder.

"Who is this guy!?" A dark woman with black hair asked.

"I don't know!" the blond holding the rose laughed. "But he's funny!"

"My identity is of no importance." Sanji blinked at them. "I just life to make beautiful ladies such as you, smile and be happy, you deserve no less." Then out of no where, he pulled out a second rose, and reached it to another woman. "And don't think I forgot about you!"

"Ohh! Magic tricks!" A red-head clapped her hands. "Wonderful!" she laughed clapping her hands.

"Well young lady." Sanji smiled at her. "Then allow me." He asked holding her hands with his two, and as he opened up, she to was holding a rose.

Only to soon did the ladies have to move on, giggling they all waved good-bye to Sanji, and Sanji sighed happily.

What a perfect way to spend an afternoon!

With that thought being dominate, Sanji turned into an alley, lighting his cigarette as he smiled, his mind full of plans for what he should cook for Nami and Robin that evening, what he could surprise them with.

Then suddenly.. a shadow fell over Sanji.

Sanjis eyes widened as he turned around. "No.." he whispered. "It can't be."

A laughter sounded, in Sanjis ears it was sinister, as the shadows moved closer and closer.

"Noo.. NOOOOO!" Sanji exclaimed as he turned around and started to run, he turned a corner and was suddenly faced with a blind alley. "Oh god no!" Sanji exclaimed looking up at the tall wall. Then turned around and saw his advancing enemy as he pressed himself up against the wall. "STAY AWAY!" he exclaimed. " WARN YOU!" he exclaimed.

But the enemies were merely advancing, getting closer and closer, and Sanji let out a big soaring. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

"Huh?" Zoro looked up, he had some-how just been abruptly waken from his nap, and looked around.

He was laying on the deck of the sunny, nothing particular was going on. The crew were mostly just hanging around, then Zoro looked out towards the ocean and noticed that the sun was hanging low. "Hey, weren't we supposed to set sail today?" he asked.

"Yeah, three hours ago." Usopp muttered from where he sat, working on some of his bullets. "But Sanji isn't back yet." He told.

"Typical." Nami sighed from the chair. "I wonder what distracted him."

Zoro lifted an eye-brow.

"Luffy is out looking for him so don't worry." Usopp shrugged. "Give it five more minutes, Luffy got hungry, and wants Sanji to cook dinner, so I am pretty sure we can exspect Sanji being dragged here in a few seconds."

Zoro shrugged as he stood up and yawned. "It's just typical shit cook to be a nuisance." He pointed out.

Then from above, this a figerue come flying, a figure carrying another figure over his shoulder.

"OHOI!" Luffy shouted from above. "I FOUND SANJI! NOW WE CAN SET SAIL!" he exclaimed as he came flying from above, with a figure over his shoulder.

"Huh?" Zoro snorted as he looked up, and Luffy came flying down with a grin on his face, putting the person on his shoulder down, holding the person in out-streched arms towards the crew.

Wide-eyed Zoro looked at the person Usopp had in front of him.. and as well did the rest of the straw-hat crew, just.. starred, with wide open mouths and wide eyes.

Then Zoro lifted a finger, and pointed at the person. "Who the fuck is that?" he asked.

"It's Sanji!" Luffy laughed. "I told you, I found Sanji!"

"Hallo crew!" the person waved at them in a smile, and a very familiar voice, as his familiar swirly brow knitted up and down.

For a moment, the entire crew looked at the man, then they all screamed as if it was a horrible monster that had appeared!

For right in front of them, stood a man, wearing a horrible pink dress, his hairy legs were just visible beneath it, wearing a pair of scarlet red shoes.

Also he wore a wig of long blond curls, and make-up in his face, as he held up a cigarette with his hand.. that had red nail polish on the nails.

"WARGHHHH!" Zoro screamed, starting to rub his eye. "MAKE IT GO AWAY!" he exclaimed. "IT'S TO HORRIBLE FOR EYES TO SEE!"

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Usopp shouted. "THAT CAN'T BE SANJI! THAT'S JUST SANJIS TWIN!" he yelled pointing at the man in the pink dress.

"Uhu, uhu!" Both Nami and Chopper nodded.

That made the sanji-look-alike in the pink dress chuckle as he held up a hand towards his mouth. "You're all acting so silly as always." He chuckled. "My, how much energy you all have."

Wide-eyed, the entire crew starred at the dressed up man in front of them.

"Urhm.." Brook hesitated as he bowed down, to get into height with Robin. "Has this ever happened before?" he asked.

"No." Usopp muttered. "Never, Sanji would never be caught dead in such a get-up." He hissed.

"Not as far as we know any-way." Franky pointed out.

"I don't know who the hell that is, but it's not Sanji." Usopp exclaimed pointing at the pink dressed man in front of him.

"Usopp! Why would you say some-thing like that!?" The Sanji look a like cried. "That is so mean! Did I do some-thing wrong?" he asked. Making Usopp glare at him.

"Usopp apologies!" Luffy demanded.

"AS IF!" Usopp exclaimed. "Come on, we'll make a test!" he encouraged.

"How?" Nami asked turning to Usopp.

Usopp smirked mischievously, before he quickly grabbed Namis jacket, and took it off her, to reveal the bikini top underneath, then took Nami by the shoulders and pushed her directly into the Sanji look alike.

"Nami-san!" The dressed man frightened exclaimed as he grabbed Nami. "Are you all-right?" he asked.

"Erh.." Nami blinked looking up at what looked like Sanjis face, but with make-up.

"We wouldn't want you nice skin to get all brushed up now would we Nami-san?" He asked putting Nami back.

"Thank you.. I guess.." Nami blushed.

"Ahh Nami-san, what are friends for!" The man asked. "Girl-friend!" he grinned giving Nami a thumbs up.

"OKAY THAT'S IT!" Usopp exclaimed. "Thanks Sanji, you know what, I'm starving, why don't you go to the kitchen and make some food?" he asked.

"Ohhh Usopp san, what a wonderfull…" The Sanji look alike started but was cut off as Usopp was suddenly behind him, and pushed him towards the galley.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Usopp stated, before he pushed the man into the galley. "In you go!" and then closed the door, to turn towards the others. "THERE! What more evidence do you need?" he asked.

"USOPP WHAT THE HELL!?" Nami shouted as she kicked Usopp over the head. "How dare you!?" she asked in a shaking fist.

"Hey, it was for a good course to proof a point." Usopp snorted as he crossed his arms looking away.

"By throwing me in the arms of some-one you thought was an imposter!?" Nami asked in a hiss.

"Hey, we had him surrounded, and you are capable enough to beat men away yourself, no matter what you would be fine." Usopp mumbled annoyed. Then hissed as he touched the new bump on his head.

"Urhm Zoro-bro.." Franky blinked. "Are you okay?"

"Can't be unseen, can't be unseen." Zoro shivered wrapping his arms around himself. "ARGH! WHAT WAS THAT!? A MONSTER FROM HELL?" he asked in a shout, grabbing his head with his hand.

Blankly Luffy looked at all of them. "What's wrong?" he asked, honestly confused.

"BAKA YOU BROUGHT A FREAK UN-BOARD!" they all shouted, straight into Luffys face.

"Huh, Sanji?" Luffy asked in a blink. "Well I guess he can be a little freaky some-times, but it's all-ways funny! Shishishi!" he grinned.

"Oii." Usopp sighed, face-palming himself. "You are seriously telling me, you didn't notice _any-thing_ different about Sanji just now?" he asked.

Luffy shrugged. "Not really." He told. "Well the dress was new, but aside from that. Completely the same!"

Usopp blinked at his captain as he looked at Luffy as if he was some kind of a strange abnormality "How… how do you even function some-times?" he asked.

Nami sighed deeply. "Any-way, it might be to early to draw conclusions." She muttered. "Maybe he was just brain-washed or some-thing."

"Can't we just throw him over-board and set sail?" Zoro asked.

_"NO!"_ The other straw-hats shouted.

"Maybe it's a strange and rare illness." Chopper frowned. "I sure hope it isn't contagious."

"Don't even _joke_ about such an idea!" Usopp exclaimed. "I'm not going to wear any dresses!"

"You all-ready got nice hair for it though." Brook pointed out.

"Oi, don't you start!" Usopp exclaimed pointing at the Skeleton.

"Maybe he is a robot replica." Franky frowned. "Like the CP's build in kumas likeness.."

"Whom would ever build such an ugly looking robot!?" Zoro asked.

"Maybe he has been possessed by a long-lost soul that intents to haunt this ship and his body." Robin whispered darkly.

"DON'T SAY SCARY SHIT LIKE THAT!" Usopp exclaimed.

"Maybe he is just coming out of the closest!" Brook pointed out.

Making Usopp and Nami looked dumbfounded at the skeleton.

"You guys are all so funny!" Luffy laughed. "Stop it!" he asked as he wiped away a tear.

"Usopp, could you just remind me why I am following this guy?" Nami asked the sniper beside her.

"I would." Usopp frowned rubbing his own forehead. "But I am having trouble remembering myself right now."

And all-ready then Luffy was on the run again. "OOH SANJI!" he yelled running for the Galley. "WHAT ARE YOU MAKING!?" he asked opening the door and disappeared inside.

"Luffy sure is brave to go in there." Chopper swallowed.

"Or he's just being an idiot as usual." Usopp mumbled.

"You do realise we all have to go in there when dinner is served right?" Robin asked, making the trio stand rigid.

"You go in first Usopp!" Nami exclaimed.

"No way! Maybe the sight of you is what can snap him out of it!" Usopp exclaimed. "Me how-ever!"

"WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A COWARD!?" Nami asked.

"AND WHY ARE YOU SUCH A WITCH!?" Usopp returned.


	2. Chapter 2

Well.. it sure looked like Sanjis food, as refined and delicate as always.. it smelled like sanjis food.

Though Usopp was incredible suspicious as he poked to it with his fork, the finally, he gathered courage and stuffed some-thing in his mouth.. it was like it melted on the tongue. It was delicious, just like Sanjis food always was! Sanji was the only one Usopp knew whom could cook food like that!

Swallowing Usopp frowned as he scratched his chin, Nami seemed to have gone through a process identical to him.

Luffy was of cause just stuffing his face as if nothing was wrong.

"Is every-thing all-right?"

"ARGH!" Usopp jumped in his seat as his dropped his fork. "Sa-Sanji." He swallowed turning around, only to be faced with the man dressed in pink, which quickly made Usopp turn back. "Yeah.. why.. why do you ask?" Usopp asked.

"You are poking to the food, Is it all-right?" Sanji asked concerned.

"Of cause it's delicious, as it always is." Usopp told in a roll of his eyes, putting another forkful into his mouth.. before he choked! Sanji _never_ asked males of the food was all-right!

"Thank-goodness." Sanji smiled brightly. "I'm so glad." And then he danced on, to take his own seat.

"Chopper." Usopp whispered of the little reindeer. "You found any-thing?" he asked.

"The blood sample I examined was indeed of Sanjis blood, and completely unaltered, what-ever is wrong with Sanji, it has nothing to do with his blood." Chopper whispered back.

"So that really is Sanji?" Nami asked pointing at the man in dress, chuckling as he ate.

"Seems like it." Chopper whispered.

"What are you three whispering about!?" Franky suddenly asked loudly.

"ARGH!" all three of them jumped up.

"ooh, nothing Franky!" Usopp exclaimed. "We were just… just.."

"Talking about Usopp's embarrassing problem!" Nami exclaimed.

"NANIIII!?" Usopp yelled back.

"Usopp has a problem?" Sanji asked. "Oh dear, I hope it's okay."

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Usopp yelled at the blond.

"Did I do some-thing wrong?" Sanji then asked. "What did I do wrong." He asked compleately bewildered and out of it.

"Ah, Sanji!" Usopp blinked. "I didn't mean, I didn't."

"Usopp you're acting mean." Chopper pointed out with crossed arms.

"Why am I suddenly the villain!?" Usopp asked. "And who's side are you on any-way Chopper?" he asked annoyed. "Beside it's not like I am the one who usually treats Zoro badly, Zoro is the one who.. erh.. Zoro?" the sniper asked looking at the green haired swords.

Zoro, had not said a word since Sanji had appeared in a dress, and now as well, he seemed to have gone into some sort of a shock, as he just starred out in front of him without even seeing.

"Zoro?" Usopp asked, snapping a finger in front of the swordsmans face." Zoooroooo?"

"Oh dear, I hope he is okay." Sanji sniffed.

"Eeek." Both Nami and Usopp sat rigid by that comment.

"What?" Sanji asked looking up with a huge blue eyes.

"Did you.. did you just say you hoped _Zoro _was okay?" Nami asked.

Robin chuckled softly. "That is what I heard."

And that made Zoro winch, as he looked away.

"AHAHAHA!" Luffy suddenly laughed. "You guys are all so funny."

Brook sighed. "Luffy, Nami-san, Usopp-san, Chopper-san and Zoro-san seems rather distressed, perhaps you should listen to them." He suggested.

"I am all for people being able to wear what they like." Franky stated. "But I hardly recognise Sanji-bro, some-thing about this smells." He stated as he crossed his large cyborg arms.

"Wait, we are talking about Sanji?" Luffy asked in a blink. "I thought we were talking about Usopp's embarrising problem."

"BAKA!" Usopp shouted throwing a plate right into Luffys head, effectively giving Luffy a big bump on the head. "Nami just made that up you idiot!"

"What!? NANIII!?" Luffy blinked wide-eyed.

And Usopp slammed his head down on the table, muttering in a very defeated voice. "I've put myself in life danger for this person, whyyyy?" he asked, as Nami gave him a very understanding clap on the shoulder.

"Nami, why would you say some-thing like that?" Luffy asked, sounding just a little disappointed.

"Urgh." Nami hissed rubbing her forehead. "As it just happens, I, Usopp and Chopper are rather concerned for Sanji." She told.

"What? Nami-san that's sweet of you to concern yourself." Sanji blushed lightly. "But you needn't worry."

"Yeah.. what-ever." Nami looked at him.

"We are afraid Sanji may be very sick!" Chopper exclaimed.

"NANI!?" Luffy exclaimed, then turned to Sanji. "Oi, are you sick?" he asked.

"No." Sanji answered shortly, and Luffy turned back to the others.

"He's fine." Luffy stated giving them a thumbs up.

"BAKA THAT DOESN'T COUNT!" Both Usopp, Nami and Chopper screamed all throwing themselves over the table to hit him in the head.

Two second after, the three were back in their places hissing deeply, while Luffy's head had been covered in new bumps, and his nose looks strangely out of place. "Sorry." Luffy mumbled.

"Look at Zoro! He is affected to!" Usopp pointed out.

"Zoro, are you sick?" Luffy then asked the swordsman.

"To my stomach." Zoro replied.

"ARGH! ZORO IS DEADLY ILL! WHAT DO WE DO!?" Luffy shouted.

"SHUT UP!" Zoro yelled hitting the Captain over the head so Luffy landed on the floor, an extra big bump on top of all the others.

"Ehhh." A girlie scream suddenly sounded, and they all turned to Sanji. "I'm sorry." The blushing Sanji gasped. "But this is all to violent for me, I'm sorry, I get frightened easily by violence."

"YOU'RE ONE OF THE MOST VIOLENT PEOPLE I KNOW!" Usopp shouted.

"EEEKK!" Sanji screamed. Making Usopp press his hands against his ears.

"Make it stop." He begged.

"I'm.. I'm sorry." Sanji sniffed, putting an handkerchief to his eyes. "I wish I knew what I was doing wrong."

"No no Sanji!" Usopp exclaimed standing up. "You are not doing any-thing! Don't cry!" he begged reaching forward a handkerchief. "There, getting better?" he asked.

And Sanji looked up. "Uhu." He nodded.

Then suddenly, Usopp realised what had just happened, and stood up, stiff as a board. "Ah, ah, ah.."

Many of the crew-members also looked at him as he stood like that, looking like a statue.

"Excuse me." Usopp then nodded his head slightly. "I'm just going to go… out-side for a bit.. I think I need to.. clear my head.. yeah.. yeah." He told in a distant voice as he walked towards the door with wide open eyes.

Shortly he disappeared through it, only to return again, walked to where he had been sitting, took his plate with food, and turned around again. "Excuse me." He asked, and walked out with his plate of food.

Wide-eyed Sanji looked after the sniper. "Is he all-right?" he asked.

"I think he just needed a break from the mad-house." Nami muttered, poking to her own food with her fork. "Not that I blame him." She stated. "His brain was nearly breaking apart from the looks of it."

"That sounds dangerous." Chopper whispered silently.

Nami rolled her eyes. "Yeah, we don't need _two_ brain-damaged people on this ship." She stated.

"Two!?" Luffy asked wide-eyed. "Who's the second one!?"

"Sorry, three." Nami corrected herself.

Suddenly Zoro stood up and walked out as well, not saying a word, he just stomped out, making Nami sigh inwardly. This was going to be a looooong night!

* * *

_AN; I gotta say, man how I simply LOVE writing for the straw-hats, to write funny scenes like this, and dialouge is extremely easy, I don't think I have ever written for other characters, where the dialouge just comes so naturally and easy to me, and can be funny, just from the interaction. _

_Oda-Sensei is a genius.. and yes, I love being mean to Usopp... Usopp, it's just because I love you so much, don't take it personally. There's a reason why I have a sogeking figure on my desk, you are my hero, silly sniper :)_


	3. Chapter 3

"This one would look wonderful on your Nami-san!" Sanji pointed out in the magazine she was holding as they sat by the aquaratic barroom.

Nami smiled nervously as she nodded. "You think so?" she asked nervously.

"Indeed! The green colour will go so well with your lovely orange hair, and with your lovely figure you would be able to pull it off without a problem." Sanji stated, pointing at a green knee-high dress in Namis clothing magazine.

"And look, with those bronze coloured heels and accesory, you would look simply adorable darling!" Sanji exclaimed.

"Oh my god, you're so right!" Nami exclaimed looking at the magazine. "it would be perfect! Should I order it?" she asked.

"Do it!" Sanji exclaimed. "What good is it being a lovely girl if you don't go all out?" he chukled.

"Heh." Nami grinned a little forced.

"You think maybe they have this blue one in my sieze?" Sanji asked holding up the magazine, to show-case a simple blue dress.

At ones the smile was wiped of Namis face, as she desperately tried to keep face. "Su.. sure." She swallowed, then noted, at least that simple blue dress would be far better than that pink monstrosity Sanji was currently wearing. "But you know what would look really good on you?" Nami asked.

"What?" Sanji asked lowering the magazin.

"A SUIT!" Nami exclaimed. "Definitely, a tailor made suit! Didn't you have one of those in your closest?" she asked. "You should totally wear that!"

"But.." Sanji swallowed. "I don't want to wear a suit."

"Maybe you should just try it!" Nami encouraged. "Please, for the love of god, just try it." She begged.

"Well.. if it means that much to you." Sanji hesitated.

Nami brightened up, was this really happening, for real?

"Maybe later." Sanji then finished, and Namis face fell.

It was now the day after Sanji had turned up like that, and Usopp and Nami had stuck their heads together, and agreed to never let the cook out of their sights, so they basically took shifts keeping Sanji in check.

Usopp had informed that Zoro had decided to sleep out-side the entire night, due to Sanji sleeping with them in the mens quarters still.

Luffy still didn't think any-thing was wrong, Robin apparently just found it all very amusing, Franky was slightly disturbed as well, Brook was the most laid back, stating they should just relax and see what would come next, and Chopper was deeply worried for Sanjis health.

It couldn't be soon enough, before Nami could escape out on the deck, where Sanji would head for his galley to make snacks for them.

Usopp was sitting with crossed legs on his work bench, working on some weird knick knack Nami could quite figure out what was right now.

Nami hadn't thought to much about it in the past, but it was like that it had become natural that her and Usopp was partners and accomplishes among the crew-mates, especially when it came to keep the others straight and grounded.

To support each other as being normal human beings amongst monsters, to beat some sense and keep them safe from themselves, as they all were rather irresponsible, as far as Usopp and Nami was concerned.

"Any changes?" Usopp muttered, without even looking up from his work.

"He wants to buy another dress." Nami whispered back.

"God, for real?" Usopp asked looking up.

Nami nodded. "And he is advising me in clothes though… he actually have a nack for it." She admitted.

"Oi, don't you begin!" Usopp hissed.

"Sorry." Nami swallowed. "You got any ideas yet?" she asked.

"Aside from burning that god damn dress?" Usopp asked. "I don't know." He sighed. "That's still Sanji in there." He pointed out. "Even if he acts strange, we just need to find a way to help him, without distressing him to much."

"I guess you are right." Nami sighed leaning up against the wall with crossed arms.

"OHOI! STRAW-HAT DARLING!"

"Huh?" Both Nami and Usopp looked up.

"YUHUUU! WE KNOW YOU ARE UP THERE!"

Luffy as well lifted his head from where he had been laying around on the lion figure head, and soon, all three teens came running towards the railing to look down, where they found an entire bunch of Okamas waving up at them.

"Luffy.. do you know any of those people?" Usopp questioned turning to Luffy.

"Hmm." Luffy frowned as he looked at them. "Not what I remember." He told. "OI!" he yelled. "HOW DO YOU KNOW ME!?" he asked.

"YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH OUR QUEEN! IVANKOV!" An okama with a brown wig and a green dress yelled back. "WE SAW YOUR SHIP AND WANTED TO SAY HEY OURSELVES!"

"Oooh!" Luffy grinned. "Ivankovs men! Why didn't you just say so?" he asked. "Come on board!"

"Luffy, I'm not so sure we should." Usopp whispered looking at Luffy.

"What?" Luffy asked. "Why not?"

"Think about it." Nami hissed putting a hand on her forehead. "Sanji turns up yesterday, dressed as an Okama and acting like a little girl, now a whole bunch of Okamas turn up, you don't think there could be an connection?"

"But, they are Ivankovs Nakamas!" Luffy complained. "They must be okay."

"Oh yeah, that reminds me." Usopp frowned, before he yelled straight into Luffys face. "WHO THE HELL IS IVANKOV!?" he asked in a big yell.

"Oh, Ivankov!" Luffy beamed. "He is the king of all Nakamas, and apparently right hand man to my dad, you know, the revolutionary Dragon. He helped me escape Impal Down and fight by Marine ford!" he told in a big grin.

Wide-eyed Nami and Usopp looked at Luffy, whom grinned back at them.

"Let me guess, he is your friend to." Usopp asked.

"OF CAUSE!" Luffy grinned.

"You never seize to amaze me Luffy." Nami groaned rubbing her forehead.

"Thank you!" Luffy yelled. "OHOI! LOWERING THE PLANK! COME ON UP!" he yelled at the little group of Nakamas under them.

"Ohh, what is this I hear?" Sanji head poked out of the galley, and his eyes lighted up by the Okamas whom entered the ships. "Girl-friends!" he exclaimed stepping out.

"SANJI-KUN!" the Okamas exclaimed as they saw him. "We hoped you would be here to!" they all cried.

And Sanji ran towards them, to be embraced in a big hug, and they all laughed.

Wide-eyed Nami and Usopp looked at the scene.

"Sanji" Usopp blinked. "You know these people?" he asked.

"Sure he does!" an Okama with a black wig grinned. "he trained with us for two years, at our Nakama island."

"HE WHAT!?" Both Nami and Usopp yelled.

"It sure was a lot of running." Sanji grinned. "Though I don't remember why I ran right now." He pointed out.

"Hm." Usopp frowned rubbing his chin.

"What are you thinking?" Nami asked.

"Well, that he spend two years with only Okamas, whom he hates, that explain his behaviour when we first re-united so that makes sense." Usopp admitted.

"And?" Nami asked.

"Maybe he thought he was free for Okamas, and running into them here again simply made his mind snap." Usopp theorised. "A classical case of going nut-cake from sheer trauma." He nodded folding his arms. "How tragic."

"Maybe we should ask Chopper about that." Nami pointed out in a murmur. "Since when did you become a doctor any-way?"

Usopp merely shrugged. "I can do any-thing you know." He pointed out.

"Sure you can." Nami pointed out in a roll of her eyes, just in time for Zoro to wake up from his nap on the other side of the railing.

And then look wide-eyed at the Okamas, laughing and talking with Sanji, slowly Zoro reached up and started to rub his eyes, then looked again, before he opened his mouth, and let out a big. "AAAAARGGGHHHHHH!"


	4. Chapter 4

There was a party going on in the galley, Sanji had made a feast for his supposed 'friends' from Okama island.

And it all seemed very cheery inside, both the Okamas and Sanji were very happy, Luffy was laughing so it could be heard all over the ship.

But, at the first moment it was possible, three people darted out-side, smacked the door closed, and stood up against the wall breathing.

It was the same trio all over again. Nami, Usopp and Chopper. Leaning up against the wall, breathing as if they had just run a marathon, each holding a plate of food they could manage to get out-side.

"It's horrible." Nami whispered with a quivering lip.

"Sooo much glitter." Usopp shivered.

"Why do they all want to pet me?" Chopper asked in a big sniff, grabbing Usopp's leg. "Usopp I don't want them to touch me!" he cried.

"They were very rude, don't they know how to take no for an answer?" Nami asked in a hiss.

"Don't worry Chopper, if we really have to seat with them again, we'll make sure you get to sit between me and Nami." Usopp sighed deeply. "But lets hope we don't have to." He shivered.

"No wonder spending two years with that kind of people drew Sanji crazy." Nami sighed deeply, rubbing her forehead.

Usopp as well sighed, as he searched the deck with his eyes, before he finally found what he had been searching for.

The green-haired swordsman, leaning up against the mast, with crossed arms and a sullen look on his face.

Zoro had been the smart one, refusing to enter the galley as long as those Okamas were in there.

Sighing the three walked over there, until Usopp could bow down and put down one of the two plates he was carrying.

Zoro didn't even look at them, merely reached out, grabbed the piece of meat on the plate, and tore a big bite out of it with his mouth. Then chewed, not giving any of the three as much as a look.

Usopp sighed deeply as he plummeted down, sitting beside Zoro, knowing the swordsman well enough to know that, this was just how he behaved.

"So erh.." Usopp swallowed. "Should we do some-thing?" he asked.

Zoro snorted. "We can't go against Captains orders, he is entertaining the Nakamas of a very powerful person, a potential ally, to keep them happy is the only logical step forward."

"You know they probably did some-thing to Sanji!" Nami exclaimed. "He is not being himself."

"I hardly noticed." Zoro commented sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

"He is sick." Chopper sniffed. "But it's not a kind of sickness I can treat."

"Look Zoro." Nami sighed as she sat down on her knees. "We all know you actually respect Sanji, in your own weird way, you can't tell me seeing him like this, doesn't hurt you."

"The only reason I would even consider helping." Zoro snorted. "Would be because I am stuck with the shit-cook no matter what, and seeing him wearing that dress is burning me eyes! So what is your plan?" he asked.

Usopp blinked, as well did Nami and Chopper.. was that Zoro, that had just said that he would help? In his own more complicated way.

"Urhh.." Usopp swallowed. "Well.. we got two different plans we kind of want to maybe consider." He hesitated.

"Oh?" Zoro asked with a lifted eye-brow.

"One, burn the dress!" Nami stated lifting a finger. "That one should be easy, wait till Sanji goes to bath, make some-one him back. While some-one else grabs the dress and burns it."

Zoro smirked. "I like the sound of that." He admitted. "Best of all, that's not mutiny." He grinned devilish. "And the second plan?" he asked.

"Well erh.." Usopp blushed deeply. "We hoped maybe we could… you know.. force some information out of one of the Okamas. Get him separated from the rest.. hold him down or some-thing."

"No." Zoro flat out stated. "Luffy intends to keep these Okama happy and content, we cannot go ahead and threat one of them under his nose."

"Oh." Nami sighed deeply.

Usopp how-ever frowned as he rubbed his chin. "But, what if we don't force them?" he asked.

"Huh?" Zoro asked.

"What if.. one of us, asks one of the Okamas out for a drink?" Usopp asked. "We fill the man up with Sake, and maybe, some-thing will just happen to… slip out!"

"Usopp you're a genius!" Nami exclaimed.

"Who should take the Okama out?" Chopper asked.

"Well, some-one with a high alcohol tolerance level." Usopp frowned.

Nami sighed deeply. "All-right fine, if it's to get Sanji back to normal."

"Well Nami, that's very nice of you, but I think there's a little problem in that." Usopp hesitated.

"What?" Nami asked looking up.

"I don't know if you noticed but.. Those Okamas they urh.. urhm.. didn't seem that interested in you." Usopp pointed out. "In fact.. one of them urh.. slapped my butt." He blushed deeply.

Gaping both Nami and Zoro looked at Usopp. "NO WAY!" they both screamed.

"And.. they kept asking if.. if Zoro happened to be single." Usopp whispered. Then looked up at Zoro. "We need some-one, whom one of the Okamas would love to be alone with, have a high alcohol tolerance level, and can hold his own if worst comes to worst."

Nami, Usopp and Chopper all looked at Zoro.

And wide-eyed Zoro looked back at them, before he splurted. "AS IF!" he exclaimed. "There is _no way_, I will go along with such a stupid plan! Find some-one else for this insanity!"

* * *

"I'm going to fucking kill you Usopp."

Zoro had no idea how it had happened, but suddenly he found himself in a bar, alone, unless you counted the compagnie of a blond Okama in a red dress, smiling at him.

"I must admit I got surprised when Usopp-boy told me you wanted to meet here." The Okama told. "I didn't think you were the type."

Forcing up a smile, Zoro looked at the Okama, then reached forward his bottle of Sake. "Drink up." He asked.

"My Zoro-boy, aren't you the wild type?" The Okama asked.

And it was a wonder, a wonder that Zoro's lip didn't start to bleed due to how hard Zoro was biting it.

* * *

Meanwhile, operation 'burn the dress' was going on back at the sunny.

Usopp, Nami and Chopper were pressing themselves against the wall, glancing in through the door that went to the big bath-room with the big tube in it.

"Yosh." Usopp whispered as he looked through his goggles. "He is taking the dress off." He told. "Oh my god.." he whispered.

"What?" Nami asked.

"That underwear.." Usopp bit his lip. "It's.. it's…"

"I don't want to know!" Nami cried as she covered her ears with her hands.

"That's coming off to now." Usopp whispered. "He's moving to the sink.. he is wiping off the make-up."

"Oh thank goodness." Nami sighed deeply.

"He is testing the water with his toe.." Usopp whispered. "And… he is in!" he stated. "Initiate phase one, the big distraction."

"Wait, did we even agree on who was going to distract him?" Nami asked.

Usopp merely smirked before he grabbed Nami by the shoulders and pushed her inside of the bathroom.

"Eeehk!" Nami exclaimed, though in a loud whisper. "Usopp you moron, why me?" she hissed at the opening.

"Maybe this will even cure him, just go for it!" Usopp hissed back.

"EEHHH! Who's there!?" Sanjis voice suddenly squeaked from among the foggy clouds.

"Or maybe not." Usopp muttered under his breath.

"Ah Sanji, it's just me, Nami!" Nami told. "I erh.. erhm.. thought maybe you would like a back-scrub!" she grinned.

"Nami.. that's very nice of you, but wouldn't that be a little indecent?" Sanji asked.

"Wow.." Nami blinked as she scratched her hair. "What-ever those Okamas did to him, they were through-out. We are sure he is not a robot right?" she asked Usopp and Chopper behind the door.

"Just get in there!" Usopp hissed.

"Shesh." Nami sighed, before she turned back to Sanji, putting on her innocent, cheery voice. "Don't be silly Sanji-kun, we are friends right?" she asked. "Nothing embarrassing at all!" she told stepping closer. "Now bow over, I'll help you." She grinned as she came closer.

"Chopper, your turn." Usopp whispered.

"Uhu." Chopper nodded, and then the little reindeer, walked in, holding a bundle of clothes in his hoofs, he was bare visible from the fog, due to his very small height, only his hat was visible over the bench where Sanji had laid his Okama clothes, then carefully, Chopper laid one of Sanjis favourite suits up there, and took the dress, then turned around and darted back.

"What was that?" Sanjis voice asked.

"Ah, nothing Sanji-kun! Just relax!" Nami encouraged.

"No, there was definitely some-thing there!" Sanji exclaimed.

And Usopp exclaimed. "CHOPPER RUN!"

"ARGHH!" Chopper screamed as both of them took a run for it, out and away.

"MY CLOTHES!" Sanji exclaimed, and soon, Usopp and Chopper got a pursuer in the form of Sanji whom had wrapped a towel around him.

"SANJI-KUN HOLD UP!" Nami exclaimed as she came after them, holding a scrub in her hand.

"Huh?" Luffy whom had been fishing on the railing turned his head. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Nothing, we are just having some fun with Sanji." Usopp replied.

"And you didn't invite me?" Luffy asked disappointed.

"GIVE ME BACK MY CLOTHES!" Sanji exclaimed.

"CHOPPER THROW!" Usopp exclaimed, and Chopper nodded.

"ARM POINT!" he exclaimed, then jumped up in the air, and threw up the clothes.

"Here I go!" Usopp exclaimed pulling out his Kabuto. "FIRE-BIRD STAR!" and a big fire-bird flew out, and erupted, engulfing the pink dress, the blond wig, and the undergarments.

"USOPP!" Sanji exclaimed. "What did you do that for!?" he asked.

"It was for your own good Sanji." Usopp told as he turned to the cook, putting his Kabuto over his shoulder. "Trust me, you will thanks us later."

Luffy as well blinked. "Usopp, Nami, Chopper." He questioned. "That was going a bit far, why did you do that?" he asked.

"Urh.." Usopp swallowed facing his Captain. "Well erh.. Nami you tell him!" he exclaimed pushing Nami in front of him.

"What, why me!?" Nami asked. "Chopper!" she then exclaimed, pushing Chopper in front of herself.

"Wahaaa, I don't want to!" Chopper cried, darting behind the two.

Luffy frowned annoyed, as he jumped down, now standing with the fishing road over his shoulder. "Is there some-thing you want to tell?" he asked.

"Erhhh." Usopp, Nami and Chopper blushed.

"Luffy, no need to be cross with them." Sanji suddenly asked, tightening the towel around himself. "It was just a harmless prank, I got plenty other clothes." He reminded the Captain.

"God Sanji, stop acting so nice." Usopp hissed, face-palming himself.

"Maybe I can even lend another dress from my friends!" Sanji pointed out in a grin.

"NO!" Both Nami, Chopper and Usopp exclaimed.

"Huh?" Luffy blinked. "Why not?" he asked.

"Those dresses are evil Luffy!" Usopp exclaimed. "We cannot let Sanji wear one! They are making him sick!"

Luffy blinked, then looked at Chopper. "Is that true doctor?" he asked.

"YES!" Chopper exclaimed. "Sanji is behaving beside himself, he is very sick! And we cannot let him wear a dress."

"Then why didn't you just say so?" Luffy asked, sounding incredible disappointed in all of them, which at ones made the three feel very guilty.

"Urhm.." Chopper swallowed. "We thought that maybe.. you.. you wouldn't believe us.." he hesitated.

"Why wouldn't I?" Luffy asked. "I call you Nakama for a reason, if I can't trust what you are saying what would that be worth, so why didn't you come to me?" he asked.

"You would have listened?" Nami asked.

"Of cause." Luffy told in a roll of his eyes. "Sanji, you are forbidden to wear any more dresses until Chopper says otherwise." He stated.

"But!" Sanji stated at ones, biting his lip.

"Chopper is our doctor, if he says you are sick, you should listen to him." Luffy lectured. "Go back to your bath, one of these three will get you some clothes, and next time, just tell me what is going on." He demanded.

"Hai." The three stated standing up, very surprised, and burning with embarrassment over this turn of events.

Sanji as well sighed, as he turned around, and went back to the bathroom, his towel tightly wrapped around him.

Stunned the trio looked at each other.

"Did.. did we just get a slap over the wrist by Luffy?" Usopp asked.

"It doesn't feel good." Chopper sniffed.

"Lets just be glad he usually take things pretty lightly." Nami sighed falling down on the grass. "oh no." she gasped.

"What? What?" Usopp asked.

"You think that.. maybe.. we should tell Luffy about Zoro?" Nami asked.

Stunned the three looked at each other, then they all shrugged as they exhaled a. "Naaah."


	5. Chapter 5

"Zoro, what are we all doing in here?" Luffy blinked, they were all collected together, inside of the Aquaratic Bar.

Even Sanji, whom was back in one of his own suits, but still wore light make-up, and didn't really look like himself at all, as he sat there with a dumb and very un-cool grin on his face, while looking very on-focused.

"I've called to this meeting, to clear up our situation." Zoro stated. "Claire gave me some very valuable information on our day out drinking."

"Claire?" Usopp asked. "You mean that Okama you went drinking with?" he asked.

"Turns out she was a lot of fun actually." Zoro smirked. "Sure knows how to drink and spare, it was a great-work out. And she was happy to tell about Shit-cook as well." He told.

"You went out with one of Ivankovs Nakamas?" Luffy asked.

"Am I not allowed to make friends of my own?" Zoro asked with a slightly lifted eye-brow.

"Of cause you are!" Luffy grinned.

"Claire just happened to tell me some rather interesting things." Zoro then told. "turns out, when Kuma first sepperated us, Ero-cook landed straight on their island." He told.

"But we all-ready knew that, they told us." Luffy pointed out.

"Hear me out, when a intruder lands on Okama island, the Okamas living there will test that mans strength, if he is to weak they will expel him at ones, but if they find him strong enough, they will use an old secret technique to convert that man." Zoro told seriously.

"Convert?" Usopp blinked. "you mean.. turn none Okamas into Okamas?" he asked.

"Exactly." Zoro nodded. "From what Claire told, no man stands a chance against their converting spell, the man looses sight of his true self, of who he really is, and becomes one of them."

"But…" Nami blinked. "Sanji was clearly himself when we re-united." She pointed out.

"From what Claire told, it sounds like they successfully converted Dart-brow, in the beginning." Zoro informed. "How-ever, shit-cook some-how managed to break the spell on his own, and spend two entire years running away from the Okamas, to avoid being converted again." He told. "And he succeeded, that is, until now." Zoro sighed deeply.

"But that's unfair!" Nami exclaimed. "He wasn't even on their island any-more, he was just minding his own buisness."

"Turns out Shit-cook became quite the sex-symbol on Okama island, and they wanted to convert him, hoping he would date one of them." Zoro muttered. "Hell if I know why." He snorted.

"And what does that mean?" Luffy asked.

"It means they brain-washed Sanji!" Usopp exclaimed to Luffy. "He is not himself any-more! Think about it! He is acting compleately different!"

"Huh? How?" Luffy asked.

"He is far less rude, instead he is overly polite, treats both men and women with respect, smiles all the time, picks out nice out-fits for Nami, doesn't swear, doesn't behave like a pervert, doesn't kick us all the time, is really helpful about every-thing, and.." Usopp blinked. "Wait, would it even be right to turn him back?" he asked looking at Sanji whom still sat with that dumb grin on his face. "I mean, what would the advantages even be?" he asked.

"BAKA!" Nami hissed beating Usopp on the head. "Of cause we have to change him back! Just because the out-fitts he helped me find was absolutely perfect, and he managed to find a cheaper way to, he.. hmm.." Nami rubbed her chin. "You know what, maybe we should just leave him like this." She realised.

"I think it's fine, lets just move on." Luffy told.

When suddenly a squirk sounded from Sanji. "Eeeehhh."

"SANJI!" Chopper exclaimed looking at Sanji. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Look at the fishie." Sanji cried looking at the tank. "She.. she died." He sniffed whisking away a tear. "it's so sad, she just looked so happy. Her skin was white like this adorable necklace I saw. Pearl would look good on my don't you agree?" he asked in a vague smile, whisking away a tear.

At that Usopp and Nami looked at each other.

"We gotta change him back." Usopp stated.

"Agreed." Nami replied.

"Hmm." Luffy still frowned.

"Captain, let me speak my piece." Zoro asked.

"Of cause." Luffy gestured with a hand.

"I need to be able to rely fully on ever crew-member, especially here in the new world, I need to be able to count on them, I need to be able to put my life in their hands, without a second thought or doubt, every single one whom is part of this crew. As Sanji is now, I don't feel like I can rely on him the same way, he is unpredictable, because he has been brain-washed." Zoro stated. "That is what we need to fix."

Stunned the entire crew looked at Zoro, it was the first time, _ever_, that Zoro had called Sanji by name, which meant, Zoro was dead serious.

Usopp as well nodded. "Further more, Sanji is our Nakama, when he needs help we need to give it to him." He told. "If there is one thing Sanji has always held very high, it's his pride, and these Okamas took it away, publicly, and fully. The real Sanji would die of shame, it would not be responsible of us to let him go on like this, when that is not his true self, we owe him that much as his Nakamas." He stated.

Stunned the crew looked at Usopp.

And Luffy's eyes looked between Zoro and Usopp as he frowned very seriously. "What about you guys?" he asked the other dead seriously. "I want to hear what all of you have to say."

"I as well think this has been going on long enough." Robin told flatly.

"One thing is to choose to be a certain way, I can accept that." Brook told. "But being forced is an entirely other matter, it is unacceptable."

Franky nodded. "If he had decided to wear a dress on own free will, I would be cool, but it isn't even his own decision."

"Sanji is sick." Chopper told. "And I am his doctor, I just want to make him better."

"Sanji can't even speak for himself, half of what he is saying is not his own words." Nami whispered. "Every-one has the right to think and speak for themselves, what they did was taking our Nakama prisoner in his own body, it's unacceptable." She flat out stated.

Luffy nodded seriously as he looked at each of them. "okay." He told. "But I still wish you had all just told me at ones." He complained.

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ONLY RARELY LISTEN TO US!" They all shouted back at Luffy.

"But.." Nami hesitated. "When we are being serious, you do always take us seriously."

"Of cause I do!" Luffy exclaimed highly offended. "I need every one of you here with me, to help me, what good would that be if I didn't let you help me when I can't figure stuff out on my own?" he asked.

"I'm sorry." Nami muttered.

"Sorry." A collected murmur sounded from the aquaratic bar.

"So what should we do about Sanji?" Luffy asked. "What do you want me to do?" he asked, looking honestly like he wanted to help.

"Can't you talk to the Okamas?" Nami asked. "Tell them that we want Sanji back, they did this, they must know how to fix it."

"Of cause I will." Luffy blinked. "That sounds easy."

"This all went over so easily, you almost want to cry, didn't it?" Usopp asked rubbing his eyes.

"You can get far by just saying things as they are." Zoro stated in a snort. "You think to much."

"That's because we are working over-time also thinking for you two." Usopp hissed.

"I feel so embarrassed." Sanji suddenly whispered in a weak voice. "Why are you all taking that way about me!? I'm not sick, I.." he sniffed, a tear running down his cheek.

"Oh for crying out loud." Nami hissed, rubbing her eyes.

* * *

Eagerly the crew awaited Luffys return up on the sunny, Luffy had gone with Zoro, to talk to the Okamas.

And most of the other straw-hats were just hanging out on the deck, impatient for the results.

"Usopp-boy, how about a refrhesments?" Sanji asked the sniper in a smile.

"Thanks, Sanji…" Usopp exhaled, though he quietly added in his mind 'please come back to us soon' Then Usopp squinted his eyes at Sanji. "Sanji are you wearing eye-shadow and lip-gloss?" he asked.

"Luffy didn't say I couldn't!" Sanji immediately defended himself.

"And eye-lashes?" Usopp asked.

"Don't you think they look good?" Sanji asked in a quivering link.

"Actually the fact that it does is the fact that disturbs me." Usopp whispered beneath his breath, because yes indeed, with this lighter make-up.. Sanji looked good, and it made Usopp shiver to his spine.

"Hi-hi, Usopp you're so funny." Sanji chuckled.

"Heh." Usopp replied forcibly, which ended up making the laugh more fake than it actually needed to be.

"Oooiii!" Brooks voice suddenly called. "Luffy-san is back!" the tall skeleton informed pointing out on the dock.

"Oh thank goodness." Usopp exhaled. "I mean.. thanks for the drink Sanji!" he grinned a forced smile.

Soon Luffy stood among them, with crossed arms and frown on his face.

"Well?" Nami asked.

"They told us they can't fix it." Zoro told darkly.

"Then what do we do?" Nami asked.

"They gave me this." Luffy then told, reaching forward a DenDen Mushi, with purple hair and a little queen crown on it.

"Huh?" The crew blinked, looking at it.

"It links to Ivankovs private DenDen Mushi." Luffy told. "Maybe he'll be able to help us."

"You.. you mean the revolutionary dragons right hand man?" Usopp asked in a shiver.

"The Queen of all Okamas?" Brook questioned.

"Yeah." Luffy nodded. "And my good friend, I'm trying to figure what to say to him." He then admitted in a frown. "I mean, I'm angry, but he also helped me."

"Just say what happened." Usopp encouraged. "He'll listen to you, he must." He told. "I mean after-all, you're the son of his boss."

"I don't really care about that." Luffy snorted, then sat down with crossed legs, and picked up the handle to press it against the ear.

"huh?" All the straw-hats gathered around in a tight circle as Luffy just sat there with a frown on his face, holding the mushi, a good time passed by, before finally, some-one picked up and a voice rang.

"Mushi Mushi, make it quick vi is rather busy."

"Ivan-chan." Luffy spoke. "It's me, Luffy."

"Luffy-boy?" the voice responded. "What a surprise! Vi was just thinking about v'you the other day, how in the world did vyou get vyour hands on one of vi's DenDen Mushis?" Ivankovs voice responded.

"We have run into some of your Nakamas." Luffy responded. "And they did some-thing to one of my crew-mates. I'm not happy Ivan-chan." He told.

"huh?" Ivankov questioned.

"My cook, Sanji. Known as Black leg Sanji, you know some-thing don't you?" Luffy questioned.

"Luffy, what happened was that he was a trespasser on vi's island." Ivankov told. "And vi's stand-in queen, acted on our laws. After that, Sanji-boy himself agreed on the terms for v'learning vi's secrets and train for two years." He stated.

"I don't mean what happened on your island, I don't care about that." Luffy responded. "I mean what happened right here and now." He told. "Why is my Nakama, showing up wearing a pink dress, and acting completely different?" he asked.

"Huh?" Ivankovs voice sounded. "You mean.. vi's lovely under darlings performed the initiation ceremony on Sanji-boy a second time, when they v'just happened to pass into him?" he asked.

"That's what we figured." Luffy responded. "Can you fix it?" he asked.

"Unfortunately not Luffy-boy." Ivankovs voice sighed. "The Okama initiation doesn't change him persay, it cannot pull some-thing out of the victim which wasn't all-ready in there some-where." He told. "Sanji-boy show-cased great will power to break free on his own the first time around. If it is even possible to do that twice, vi doesn't know."

"Hey, you can't mean that!" Usopp exclaimed. "You can't honestly say Sanji is stuck like that for-ever!"

"He wasn't even trespassing your island, he was just minding his own business in town!" Nami exclaimed.

"That's right!" Brook exclaimed. "He kept his part of the bargain of your terms, and avoided the Okamas for two years, it's not fair play!"

"Who's that speaking?" Ivankovs voice asked.

"Oh, that's my crew." Luffy told. "They are all listening in."

"My oh my, now Vi feel most excited, the straw-hat crew all there to listen to vi?" Ivankov asked. "That v'last one sounded rather much like Soul King didn't he?" he asked.

Luffy blinked. "You like soul king?" he asked.

"His music is the hot-stuff here at vi island." Ivankov informed. "Vi listen to it all the time at our parties, what I wouldn't do to talk to him in person." He sighed. "Both his music and his flamboyant style, is a fresh new inspiration to vi's collection. A true icon, for a free spirit. Just the other day Vi made a cover on his single. Bone to be wild, marvoulus indeed."

Luffy blinked, then looked at Brook, Brook looked back, then shrugged.

"So Ivan-chan, you are absolutely sure, that you have no idea how to fix Sanji?" Luffy asked.

"Luffy-boy, if it was that v'easy, don't you think Vi would tell you?" Ivankov asked, his voice a bit hurt.

"And you are reaaally sure?" Luffy asked.

"Well, vi have one way." Ivankov at last admmited. "In vi's possession, vi have the mirror of truth, to look into it, is to see v'your own self, and make v'you remember who v'you are. But it is very valuable, and vi only got one, vi cannot just give it to you." He stated.

At that, Luffy merely reached the phone to Brook.

"Mushi-Mushi." Brook spoke into the phone. "Hallooo! I'm all Bones Brook! Also called Soul King, how may I interest you in a brand new, signed single, written just for you and your flamboyant Okamas?" he asked. "I will call it, The rocking Rainbow."


	6. Chapter 6

Two days after, and a bird flying the long way from Okama island to the straw-hats location, they straw-hat stood with a package in their hands.

"So that's it?" Usopp swallowed as he edged to get behind Nami. "the mirror of truth, you see your true self in it?"

"That's what Ivan-chan said." Luffy responded. "But remember we have to be careful with it, we are only borrowing it."

"Then maybe you shouldn't be the one holding it." Nami murmured.

"I WANT TO SEE THE MIRROR OF TRUTH!" Luffy exclaimed excited, as he ripped the paper away, and at last stood with an ordinary looking mirror, with a silver backing and a simple silver handle. Then tried to look into it. "Hmmm." Luffy frowned.

Usopp shivered as he was now sincerely, and unapologetically hiding behind Nami. "What.. what are you seeing?" he asked in a intimidated whisper.

"I don't really see any-thing, aside from just me." Luffy muttered a little disappointed. "Maybe you should try it?" he asked.

"NO THANKS!" Usopp shouted.

"You don't want to look at yourself in the mirror of truth?" Nami asked turning around to look at Usopp. "Usopp are you scared?" she asked.

"No." Usopp objected at ones looking away with crossed arms. "Why don't you look into it Nami?" he then challenged.

"Oh, I erh.. think I'll manage without." Nami swallowed.

"Let me." Brook at last offered, reaching forward a hand, and carefully took the mirror away from Luffy. "Oh my." He whispered looking into the mirror.

"What?" Luffy asked. "What are you seeing!?" he asked.

"Yoho." Brook laughed a little amused, before he turned down the mirror. "Yes, this is indeed not an ordinary mirror." He confirmed handing the mirror back to Luffy.

"Brook, what did you see!?" Luffy asked. "Tell me, Tell me!" he begged.

At that Brook laughed amused, before he padded Luffy on the head, on top of the straw-hat. "Nothing I hadn't all-ready figured." He told. "There's more to this sack of bones than just bones.. or is there?" he asked, then laughed. "Yohohoho!"

"But Brook." Luffy wined in dissapointment. "Why wont you tell what you saw?" he asked.

"I believe that is called, a thing of privacy." Nami pointed out with a roll of her eyes.

"Not that Luffy would have any sense of what that is." Usopp pointed out in a slight whisper.

"Why wont you two look in the mirror?" Luffy asked.

"Isn't that obvious?" Zoro asked in a snort from where he laid up against the railing, merely glancing at them.

"Huh?" Luffy blinked.

"One is afraid that he'll see a coward, the other afraid she'll see a greedy, cold-hearted, tightwad." Zoro snorted in a roll of his eyes. Then he shrugged. "Good thing they know themselves well enough to know that."

"Hey that's not fair!" Usopp exclaimed. "It's been a long time since I've was a true coward."

"And if I didn't care about the money, who else on this ship would?" Nami asked. "We would go broke and starve to death in no time. I've never let any of you go lacking things you need, did I?" she asked.

"Then why are you two so afraid to look in the mirror?" Zoro asked in a snort.

"SHUT UP!" Both of them yelled back at the swordsman, whom didn't react at all.

"Well that's just silly." Luffy chuckled. "Usopp is brave and Nami is a true friend whom cares, even I know that." He told in a slight eye-roll.

Both Usopp and Nami were busy blushing though as they turned their heads away.

"So erh." At last Usopp cleared his throat. "Why don't we go fix Sanji then?" he asked. "Where is he, in the galley?" he asked.

"He is out at the marked." Robin informed from where she sat reading her book.

Slowly, Nami and Usopp turned to the raven haired woman. "What?" Usopp asked.

"You let Sanji off the ship?" Nami asked.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that he was forbidden to leave the ship." Robin calmly replied.

"Why is that so bad?" Luffy asked in a blink.

"Now the Okamas might get to him again! And put him in a dress!" Usopp exclaimed.

"So, we got the mirror now." Luffy pointed out.

"That's not the point!" Usopp hissed. "Come on Captain, lets go find him!"

"I'll just wait here." Zoro stated leaning back.

"OH no you don't!" Nami hissed, grabbing the swords-man by the neck, and dragged him with her.

"Hey what are you doing!" Zoro hissed. "Let go witch!"

"You are going to help us find Sanji." Nami hissed back. "He might be in a dress, so we need to be quick."

"That's exactly why I have no desire to go!" Zoro hissed. "I only got one eye left, it doesn't need to be burned out by such a horrible sight!" he stated pointing at his one eye.

"Tough." Was All Nami stated. "You still owe me money you know."

"Witch." Zoro hissed.

* * *

Eventually they found an Okama. Sanjis friend Claire, and happily he had led them to Sanjis location.. which ended up with Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Brook and Robin to stand gaping at the place.

"You got to be kidding me." Zoro hissed.

"I think it looks like fun." Luffy told in a grin.

"This can only end wrong." Usopp groaned face-palming himself.

"I don't know, seems like a very happy bunch of people." Brook pointed out.

Robin merely smiled amused.

Right in front of them, was a big, flamboyant, massive, Okama bar, filled with men in sequin filled dresses.

Nami sighed deeply. "Lets just get it over with." She muttered stepping forward.

"Hold!" A huge Nakama stopped Nami before she could step in. "I'm sorry young lady, but we have a strict dress code." The big Okama, in a green dress and a short wig told.

"Dress code?" Nami blinked. "Oh, if it's because I'm a woman, no problem, this guy will go in!" she stated pushing Usopp right in front of her.

"HEY!" Usopp shouted.

"I'm sorry sir, you don't fullfill the dress code either." The Okama told. "You how-ever." He looked at Robin. "You may come in." he told.

Robin smiled amused as she nodded her head. "Thank you very much." She told and stepped inside.

"HEY WAIT A MINUTE!" Nami shouted. "How come Robin could get in and I couldn't!?" she asked. "Robin is a woman to!" she pointed out.

"And she fullfills the dress-code." The Okama told. "If you want to get in, come back and wear dresses."

"Huh?" Nami blinked, then looked down at herself, she was merely wearing her usual jeans and a tank-top. "Oh." She realised looking up again. "Well that's easy enough." She pointed out.

"Great!" Usopp smiled. "Then you and Robin can go fetch Sanji, we'll just go back to the Sunny!"

"As if!" Nami hissed. "You really think you are getting out of this one?" she asked Usopp in a threat.

"But Nami.." Usopp blinked. "How would I get in?" he asked.

"How indeed?" Nami asked in a devilish grin.

For a moment Usopp looked at Nami, then his eyes widened. "No." he shook his head. "You can't honestly mean that! That's just mean!"

"Oh yes." Nami smirked.

"Luffy, help me out here!" Usopp begged.

Luffy merely shrugged as he was sticking a finger up his nose. "So what? I kind of want to get in there to, it sounds like fun in there." He told.

"Just when I am actually counting on you!" Usopp hissed. "No way Nami! I am not doing it!" he stated as he crossed his arms. "No matter what threat you come up with! I refuse!"

* * *

"Nami, one day, you'll end up in hell." Usopp hissed, as he constantly tried to fold his simple, dark-green coloured, dress down with his hands, as if not knowing what the hell to do with it.

It was the plainest, most simple dress, that Usopp had been able to get his hands on, and under it, he was wearing his usual boots. But it still didn't help, that it was a bloody dress!

Luffy though seemed like he couldn't care less as he walked around in a bright orange version of the dress.

And Nami of cause, could act all high and mighty as she looked like a real photo-model, in her knee height, lime-green dress with matching shoes and a little red hand-bag over her shoulder. She merely smiled at Usopp as they stepped in front of the guard of the Okama place, whom this time let them in with a smile, then gave Usopp and extra look, and a little appreciative whistle.

Which made Usopp blush deeply, before he darted behind Luffy, trying to hide.

In a united group, they moved into the bar, which was filled with Okamas, left and right.

And then a voice yelled. "HALLOOOO! COME JOIN US!"

"Wait.." Usopp blinked. "Is that.." then his eyes turned to the left, and saw a tall skeleton sitting by a table in the company of a swordsman and a raven haired archeologist. "BROOK!" he exclaimed.

At ones the three ran to the table, and Usopp wide-eyed looked at Zoro and Brook.. neither of which were wearing dresses. "How the hell did you two get in without.. erh.." he blushed deeply pulling down in his dress.

"Turns out being the friend of a celebrity has it's advantages." Zoro smirked pulling up a glass.

"What?" Nami asked.

"Turns out Brook is pretty popular among all the people in here." Robin smiled sweetly.

"Yohoho! Some-one from the inside saw me, and they practically begged for me to get in." Brook told. "You were all-ready gone though." He pointed out.

"NAMI YOU WITCH!" Usopp yelled at Nami. "You made me do this for nothing!" he exclaimed.

"Well.. I got a laugh out of it." Nami smiled nervously. "And I got to wear one of my nice dresses."

"Not helping." Usopp muttered.

Luffy how-ever laughed. "HAHAHA!" and took seat by the table. "So any-one seen Sanji yet?" he asked.

"Not so far." Robin admitted. "But this is quite the experience." She pointed out.

"Quite." Zoro snorted, and then looked around. The placed looked very fancy and yet flamboyant, it was decorative, yet tastefully so, an okama in a golden dress sat by a wooden piano playing life, while another one in a big red dress sang life opera on a small stage, lots of Okamas whistling at the man.

"I like the free spirit of these people." Brook commented. "Reminds me of when many musicians comes together to jam and hang out, but in a classy setting." He told, taking a sip of the tea that he was sitting with.

"Yeah yeah." Usopp muttered as he also had sat down, resting his head in his hands. "Lets just try and spot Sanji and get out of here." He begged.

Then suddenly, Nami looked wide-eyed at the stage, then padded usopp on the shoulder.

"What?" Usopp asked.

"Oh my." Brook blinked. "I he really have it in him, he really takes that stage?"

"Huh?" Usopp blinked.

Zoros mouth, looked like it had dropped all the way down on the table, and slowly, Usopp's eyes moved to the stage, and his mouth dropped open as well.

"No… way.." Usopp gasped.

For there, on the stage, stood a very familiar blond cook.

His blond hair was smartly decorated with two hair-pins, with two blue crystal flowers on it, he was wearing a long, elegant, but very simple, sparkling light blue dress that matched those flowers in his hair, elegant high-heeled silver shoes, long white gloves, light make-up in his colours, pearl ear-rings and a crystal necklace.

Usopp rubbed his eyes, then took a second check, before he desperately tried to look away.

"Wow." Nami blinked. "Sanji-kun looks gooood in that get-up!"

"Don't say it out loud!" Usopp hissed. "This is confusing enough as it is!"

Zoro had closed his eyes, as he sat with crossed arms and a frown on his face. "I have not seen any-thing." He flat out stated.

Then, the piano started to slowly play, and Sanji put the microphone to his mouth, before he began to sing, a slow, jazzy, beautiful tune.

Which he sang softly and masterfully, walking elegantly around in the dress.

"WOOH SANJI!" Luffy exclaimed. "You're good!"

"DON'T TAKE MY JOB SANJI-SAN!" Brook exclaimed.

"Make it stop." Usopp begged. "Show him the mirror all-ready!" he begged.

"Why?" Nami asked looking at Sanji. "This is wonderful! He is really really good!"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Both Usopp and Zoro shouted, but no-body else even took notice, just kept on looking at Sanji with smiles on their faces.


	7. Chapter 7

Even Usopp, couldn't help but laugh, though he desperately tried to.

As Sanji had slowly, moved along the tables, singing, blinking at the people around him and now.. had sat himself right down on Zoro's lap, holding his left arm around Zoro's neck, rather seductively, while singing into the mic he held in his other hand.

Usopp was practically having his arm around Luffy, as Luffy had his arm around him, and they were both laughing their guts out.

"Shut up." Zoro hissed. "At least I am not the one wearing a bloody dress!"

That though, just made the two young men laugh even harder.

As Sanji finished a few last notes, and the entire hall, started to clap and whistle, as Sanji gave them a nod and a smile.

"Get.. Of me." Zoro hissed dangerously to Sanji.

"How rude." Sanji blinked. "You sound like some-one about to attack me."

At that, Zoro slipped up one of his swords with his finger.

"Easy Zoro-kun." Sanji hissed, then whispered. "I just wanted to get a few words in." he told. "Captain, i'm sorry about the dress, I know you forbade it."

"It's fine." Luffy grinned.

"Listen, i'll be done here in five minutes, they are asking I do three different songs. Will you stay put for so long?" Sanji asked.

Usopp blinked. "Is some-thing wrong?" he asked.

"I'll say there is." Sanji whispered. "Ivankov samas lovely darlings, isn't just here for fun. There are world nobles and their body guards in town." he told.

"Eh!?" Usopp's eyes widened.

"And they got their eyes on Luffy." Sanji sighed. "Being the revolutionary dragons son and all, they are spies right in here as we speak, as well as some new-world marines. The nobles weren't after us, but now that they run into us." he sighed deeply.

"Then what are they waiting for?" Luffy asked.

"For us to set sail, so they can shoot the ship to sink from afar." Sanji whispered. "Uh!" he blinked in a high squeel.

"What!? WHAT!" Luffy shouted.

"Nami darling!" Sanji exclaimed. "that dress looks simply devine on you! You go girl!" he beamed giving Nami a thumbs up.

"Oh." Nami blinked, for a moment having forgotten that Sanji wasn't entirely himself. "Thanks, Sanji-kun." she whispered.

And Sanji nodded, as he stood up, to much applaud of the room. "DARLINGS!" Sanji shouted to the room. "Thank you! Thank you all!" he cheered sending out air kisses. "I was thinking, my good friend and crew-mate here, Brook, is afraid I'll be taking his job as musician on the ship."

"Sanji-san, I didn't mean it." Brook blushed deeply. "In my old crew we were many musicians, the more the better."

"It's also silly, you are much more talented than me." Sanji chuckled, holding a hand to his mouth. "I was wondering if you would do me the honour and do a duet for the crowd?" he asked.

And all the okamas went amok with cries.

"Argh! I don't know what to say." Brook blushed, holding his face with his two hands. "Me, performing for such an audience? Why I am just a humble skeleton!"

"Get at it Brook!" Usopp laughed amused, hitting the tall skeleton on the back, so he almost fell off the chair.

"I would like to see that as well." Robin smiled amused.

At that Brook halted. "Ah! If it's for you Robin-san. ANY-THING!" he stated. "THEN MAYBE YOU'LL SHOW ME YOUR PANTIES!?" Brook shouted as he stood up.

To suddenly receive a pair of pink panties, with white thrills right in the face.

"Huh?" Brook blinked looking at the panties in his hand, as he had removed them.

"I LOVE YOU SOUL KING!" a shout suddenly sounded, from one of the Okamas in a pink dress.

Brook seemed like he had turned into a statue as he looked at the man, holding the panties in his skeleton hands.

Until Sanji cut in with a small laugh. "haha, thank you darling!" he air kissed at the Okama.

And Brook seemed to snap out of it as he shook his head, and threw the panties over his shoulder, before he headed right for the piano on the stage. "May I?" he asked the piano player.

"By all means!" the piano player exclaimed. "Could I maybe ask for your autograph to?" he asked excited.

"OF CAUSE!" Brook exclaimed taking out a pen, and then with a swing of his arm, made a big signature, right on the piano players book of sheet-music. Before he sat down, and stroke a chord on the piano.

"Hmm." Zoro frowned as he rubbed his chin down by the straw-hats table.

"You seem troubled Zoro-san." Robin softly pointed out.

"Huh?" Luffy blinked. "Zoro, some-things wrong."

"I'm just wondering what the heck shit-cook is up to." Zoro frowned. "Why did he pull Brook up there as well, it can hardly be without reason."

"Who knows." Usopp sighed deeply. "He is not himself these days remember."

Nami though as well frowned. "He did seem kind of calculating though." She pointed out. "It was like he had a purpose this time, so he changed and wasn't so silly. He is still Sanji you know." She informed. "When it matters, he does get serious."

"You still don't have me entirely convinced." Usopp admitted, swirling the content in his glass, looking at the sing duo on stage, singing 'Can any-one explain.' Up there.. Sanji of cause singing the part of the woman. "Man it's frightened how naturally good he actually is at that." He pointed out, looking at how good and elegant Sanji looked up on stage in his dress.

"And kind of funny." Zoro at last found out in a smirk. "So he is a queer-cook after-all." He smirked in a devilish grin.

"He is a natural." Robin smiled looking at the stage.

As the number ended, to much applause, and Brook took a bow, to join his crew-mates by the table.

"Wonderful Brook." Nami smiled.

"Thank you, Nami-swan." Brook bowed his head. "How-ever, from up there, I did suddenly realise." He told.

"Huh?" Usopp blinked.

"There, there, and there." Brook pointed around, at three different tables. "Those men don't look or behave like the rest, and the table right there." He pointed over the shoulder behind himself.

"Marines?" Nami asked.

"Does it matter?" Luffy asked. "Marines or what-ever, they are hoping to get to ivan-chan through his nakama."

"And then we just happened to be caught in the cross-fire." Nami sighed, putting a hand towards her forehead. "Well, I guess we could just sneak out. They don't have to know that we know we are here."

"Who says they don't all-ready know?" Zoro asked in a snort.

"Huh?" Nami and Usopp blinked at Zoro.

And Zoro merely pointed up, to where Sanji was blushing and deeply apologising to a man.

"Did you walk into me queer!?" The man sneered as he stood up.

"No, no, it was an accident." Sanji squealed as he stood up. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you." He told.

"That's not enough." The man hissed as he stood up raising a fist.

"But." Sanji swallowed.

The fist though, was up, and ready to come down.

"Luffy, we gotta do some-thing!" Nami exclaimed, grabbing Luffys robe.

"Man, it's weird seeing Sanji being helpless like that." Usopp quivered. "I don't like it."

And then the fist, zoomed down-wards.

Only for a big clash to sound, a man being send flying through the room, and right into the wall, through several tables.

And a blond cook, looking after him with wide opened eyes, looking at what had happened after he had kicked them man through the room. "Ups." Was all Sanji could say in a swallow.

"Well." Zoro sighed as he stood up. "Was fun as long as it lasted." He told in a slight shrug.

Just as several more men came towards Sanji. "You.." one of them hissed. "You're going to pay."

"Hehe." Sanji smiled a little embarrassed. Then he stood up and sighed, pulling out a ciggerate. "I'm sorry darling, violence is really not my style, but you are leaving me very little choice." He told.

And then in the next moment, Sanji jumped up, with dress and every-thing, to make a spinning kick, and kick even more men out in the room, to land a little awkward, tripping, as he tried to flatten down his dress over his leg.

"Well." Usopp as well sighed as he stood up, pulling down his hat, then grabbed Namis arm. "Time to go!" he stated and pulled Nami with him towards the exit.

"Wait Usopp, shouldn't we fight?" Nami asked.

"Our fighting styles, inside of this place?" Usopp asked looking at Nami. "We would end up destroying the entire building, worst case scenario, being buried under the brigs. Plus we could way to easily end up hurting our own inside of this mess." He stated, bowing down just as a chair came flying, and Nami glanced at the big brawl, to realise it was now just a mess of people, entangled in each other. Usopp was right, if Nami attacked in here, she would undoubtly end up hurting some-one she didn't intend to.

Usopp could probably make some precise shoots, with simple led bullets, but it wouldn't amount to much.

"Beside." Usopp sighed. "Zoro, Sanji, Robin and Luffy can handle themselves." He mumbled. "Lets just get to Franky and tell what we learned." He encouraged, pulling Nami with him out-side.

Though, on his way out.. a hand was slipped in, and gave Usopp's but a good dash. "ALL-RIGHT THAT'S IT!" Usopp yelled turning around, letting go of Nami. "Don't think I didn't see it was you, you've done it twice now." He hissed. "Unfortunately for you, I got some of the best eyes in the world, you bastard." Then Usopp loaded his Kabuto, and fired and object, that smashed into the face of a blond Okama, wearing a white dress. Sending him to the floor.

Nami blinked. "What was that?" she asked.

"Rotten egg." Usopp hissed, grabbing Namis wrist again, pulling her out.

"You STILL carrie around rotten eggs in your artillery!?" Nami asked. "After all of your upgrades? You just looked like a person whom had grown, and then a rotten egg?" she asked.

"Some-times, a rotten egg is just exactly what you need." Usopp shortly replied as they were out-side, and Usopp didn't hesitate to rip off the dress, to reveal a pair of shorts, and a bare torso underneath. "I thought you got it all-ready, we use what we happen to have as a weapon. That's what you did with the clima-tact, I never invented it to be used the way you did it."

"Call it joined brilliance." Nami then smirked.

And just behind them, a big crash sounded, as the entire building fell together in a big crash.

"Oh Jesus." Usopp sighed, putting his hands on his hips. "They over did it." He commented.

"Sanji or Zoro?" Nami asked.

"I'll say Zoro, the new Sanji is more careful about these sort of things." Usopp pointed out.

"The old Sanji would love to destroy such a place though." Nami pointed out. "A thousand Berries says it was Sanji."

"Deal." Usopp commented, neither of them having turned away from the collapsing building, just casually watched, as if it was the most normal thing ever.


End file.
